I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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