yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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