We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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