Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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