do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
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I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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