I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
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she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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