carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
