it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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