3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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