he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
