Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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