DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
