just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical