i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
