So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
