We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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