Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
