Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
