One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
