I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
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level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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