My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
