I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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