If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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