I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
