Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize