my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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