we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
