Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
