I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
