Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize