Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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