ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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