so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
