i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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