when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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