and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
