It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
be right there i have to get my cape
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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