I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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