you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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