kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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