when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
