I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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