I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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