So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
