Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I didn't notice because vodka
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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