we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
