I skipped work to stalk him.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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