yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
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i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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