if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize