So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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