He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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