Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
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I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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