Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
