My brain says no but my pants say off.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
