Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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