You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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