I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
