Just took my morning after pill in the library
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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