She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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