Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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