I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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