I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
