I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize